The mental load of running a business and keeping up with everyday life finally caught up with me.
I felt like I was being pulled in every direction my to-do list growing faster than I could keep up. Everyone needed something from me… but there was only one of me.
On Saturday, I listened to a podcast that really hit home. It explained, scientifically, how our brains and bodies respond to stress but also the patterns and how our nervous systems are wired, even before our long term memory is working. So our traumas and how we behave might be because of things we are unaware of. As a nurse, it made complete sense our bodies are incredible… and they do try to warn us.
And mine had been warning me for weeks.
I just hadn’t been listening.
When I stopped and reflected, I recognised the patterns:
the tight muscles, tension, pain, migraines…
becoming distant at home, less affectionate, more irritable…
shutting down, waking in the night to “get things done,”
scrolling endlessly, neglecting myself.
These weren’t new.
They’ve been showing up throughout my life.
By Sunday, my mind was spinning and I hit breaking point.
The meltdown came.
Tears, overwhelm, everything spilling out,often not in the way I truly mean it.
So I did what i always do, i disappear, i take time away to let it all out.
Slowly, I calmed.
I could think again.
I could feel again.
I know i need to reset the way my nervous system works with therapy and thats okay, nothing to be ashamed of.
I reached out to my partner sending messages to explain what I couldn’t say in the moment.
And when I came home, I was met with a huge hug.
And honestly… that hug changed everything.
My body softened.
My breathing slowed.
I felt safe.
That night, I went to bed early, listened to a meditation, and had the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.
This morning, I woke at 5:30 like usual but instead of rushing into the day, I chose something different.
I took the dogs out.
Walked slowly.
Breathed in the cool air.
Listened to the birds.
Let myself be.
And it reminded me of something important:
So many of us are carrying more than we let on.
I’ve seen it just this week people stepping back, trying to reset.
We’re all doing our best.
So if someone you know goes quiet…
if they seem a bit different…
Don’t always ask questions.
Sometimes, just wrap your arms around them.
Remind them to breathe.
Remind them they’re safe.
Remind them they’re not alone.
Because sometimes… that hug is exactly what someone needs. 🤍
With Love
The Spirited Nurse x
The Spirited Nurse. 